It has been a couple weeks since my last post. I have gone to the shelter every week with my socks to hand out...there is so much pain there...
I went on a Monday one week and met an entirely different group of people. One gal, about my age, crawled out of a dirty broken down van. She is one of the 'rich homeless' that has a running vehicle to live in. She told me her name was Gypsy Rose, and she was once a 'dancer in New York City'. This woman was rough. Her hair was matted, her clothes wrinkled, her body vi sable with dirt. She asked me to comb her hair for her so I did. During that fifteen minutes she told me she had been a jockey in England for year....now I was beginning to wonder if she was part of the mentally ill who are homeless or a woman with a wonderful past of adventures. If she were the later...why was she homeless? What had happened to her. We hugged as we parted way; I may never know the truth of her situation. I wonder why.
The Monday visit also brought a little old man, about 4 foot tall, with a walker. I asked him if he is "inside or outside", which is the polite term for finding out how down and out a person is. He is outside. I gave him a pair of socks and helped him get his zipper open to put them in his bag. He was about 80 pounds of hunched over arthritic bones so I asked if he needed help getting upstairs to the lunch about to be served. He thanked me with the reply "I am used to this, I will be fine". How can be 'okay' when he needed help with a zipper on his bag...I wonder why.
Going upstairs to the area they meet for lunch I was able to say hello to some regulars I had seen before. There were several families with small children. On the side tables were piles of clothing and shoes for the 'guests' to go though and take what they needed. The irony of the shoes were high heels...what are people thinking these homeless will do with high heeled shoes? The homeless walk all day to avoid a loitering charge..I wonder way.
I brought my husband along for one of my visits. (My hubs is the most wonderful, kind man in the world, with a heart of gold.) He was mortified to be there, he would not hand out the socks. He would not go in the building. He would not talk with the people. He was the most uncomfortable I have ever seen him. What makes it so difficult for good people to ignore the homeless. I wonder why.
I had not been able to write my feelings about the last two weeks until a dear school friend (we have know each other 50 years) sent me a 'you-tube' to watch today.
It answers all my 'I wonder why' questions...Here is the link to my enlightenment
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YU0aNAHXP0&feature=email
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Abandoned cars, dogs and people.
I go each Wed to the local "soup line" to hand out socks and whatever else I can afford to give. Sometimes it is a zip lock bag of goodies and sometimes it is just batteries. It takes me a couple days to digest what I have seen, heard, and smelled during this adventure...
I met Jim this trip. He proudly told me of the "tent city" he founded in the hills outside our town. He told of the police raids that allow them to grab what they can and then how the police slice the tents and cart them off. He got wind of a coming police raid and how his "camp" was in scurry mode after eating their one meal a day at the Salvation Army. There are breakfasts and dinners at a different location, but one meal today will have to do as they need to move before the 'raid'.
It was the first of the month and Jim spit sour liquor breath my direction as he lisps though missing teeth. He was hard to understand and to hear. His eyes are glassy. He explains that 'he is a man' and starts crying. I give him a hug. After a time he tells me about the impending raid and how 'normal people' (his words) do not understand that the homeless do NOT want to be homeless...they have pain that is covered by the booze and drugs that leads to illegal activity that they then hide from the law. The thinking is so confused that being on the run sounds better than a bed and meals in jail.
He goes on to ask me. "What happens to abandoned cars?" They are impounded I respond. "What happens to abandoned dogs?" he asks patiently... Well, I guess they are picked up and housed by the human society until they find a new home. Tears fill his eyes again. "What happens to homeless people?" I am silent. He looks down at this worn boots for a long time. I wait for his answer and pray that I can find the words to comfort this man. He looks up slowly, right into my eyes...and says "They yell at us, wake us up when we try to sleep in a dry doorway, close shelters for lack of funding, arrest us, give us just enough money for booze or drugs but not enough for housing." I am still silent. "They will not rent to us, they will not give us work, the treatment centers are full, they run us off if we pan handle..." He starts crying again. "The worst thing is that they ignore us...they have more respect for abandoned cars and dogs...." He walked away.
I met Jim this trip. He proudly told me of the "tent city" he founded in the hills outside our town. He told of the police raids that allow them to grab what they can and then how the police slice the tents and cart them off. He got wind of a coming police raid and how his "camp" was in scurry mode after eating their one meal a day at the Salvation Army. There are breakfasts and dinners at a different location, but one meal today will have to do as they need to move before the 'raid'.
It was the first of the month and Jim spit sour liquor breath my direction as he lisps though missing teeth. He was hard to understand and to hear. His eyes are glassy. He explains that 'he is a man' and starts crying. I give him a hug. After a time he tells me about the impending raid and how 'normal people' (his words) do not understand that the homeless do NOT want to be homeless...they have pain that is covered by the booze and drugs that leads to illegal activity that they then hide from the law. The thinking is so confused that being on the run sounds better than a bed and meals in jail.
He goes on to ask me. "What happens to abandoned cars?" They are impounded I respond. "What happens to abandoned dogs?" he asks patiently... Well, I guess they are picked up and housed by the human society until they find a new home. Tears fill his eyes again. "What happens to homeless people?" I am silent. He looks down at this worn boots for a long time. I wait for his answer and pray that I can find the words to comfort this man. He looks up slowly, right into my eyes...and says "They yell at us, wake us up when we try to sleep in a dry doorway, close shelters for lack of funding, arrest us, give us just enough money for booze or drugs but not enough for housing." I am still silent. "They will not rent to us, they will not give us work, the treatment centers are full, they run us off if we pan handle..." He starts crying again. "The worst thing is that they ignore us...they have more respect for abandoned cars and dogs...." He walked away.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Week 4- Eating at the Salvation Army
Note: all the names have been changed....
Week 4 at the Salvation Army Soup Line....
This week I took socks and good batteries. I guess the dollar store batteries are often old and only work a short time. Not good if you are depending on them in your only flashlight to get the right trail back to camp. Buying the large pack of good batteries was actually less than all the individual packs. Socks are always needed..they go fast!
I caught up with Country and Tina and gave them the dog food I had been carting around for weeks. They have a pit bull...seems like a nice dog and I am not a fan of the breed. I guess Country has seizures and this is his therapy dog. I don't know if that is a self given title so the dog can go in shelters with them or if the dog has actually been trained. The dog was better taken care of than themselves.
Eric is still in jail. Joe, the old guy, is now inside a small one room apartment and more comfortable...for that I am happy. Don and Jeannette were there this week also, still strong advocates for shelter that is badly needed in this county. Rick, a very polite quiet man is here each Wed and always shakes my hand and thanks me. I enjoy what little conversation I have with him.
This week was a special time for me as I was able to go inside the Salvation Army and eat with the people. It was the end of the month so the dining room was pretty full. There were two families there with small children....that was hard to see. I offered to pay for my meal but was told they can not take money. Here is how it went:
You go in to a receptionist who opens a small window and gives you a blue ticket and a white ticket after taking your social security number and drivers license. The blue ticket is for your first time though the line, the white ticket is for seconds. (Note: This Sally is only open for one meal a day) The dining room (as well as everything I have seen inside the building) is spotlessly clean. There are about twenty large round tables that seat eight people. Funny, but it reminded me of the tables you find on a cruise ship. People start coming in and there are tables off to the side with hot coffee and juice....cups are on each table with a napkin and silverware in each. I didn't have any coffee as it is a premium to those cold from the weather. The juice went fast also. I sat with Don and Jeanette and talked with them in detail about their experiences. Then suddenly a man yells "HATS OFF" and all the men take off ball caps, stocking hats etc and the man leads us in a prayer. (He is one of the guests, not a Sally worker) Afterwords, two lines file...Ladies first is the rule. Don escorts me to the lady line where I wait for my meal. The meal was a hearty meat stew that day with buttered bread and a dessert. It was very tasty. Everyone buses their own table. Many went back with their white ticket for seconds.
It was a great experience and I treasure the time I have with these people. I look forward to my Wed adventures.
Sally sent someone in to ask me my affiliation. It surprised them that I am not part of a church or organization. I assured them that I come with no agenda and no expectations...just to have some fellowship with the people and to deliver new socks each week. I was asked to 'give' the items outside (as I have been) and to keep confidential any information I might get from the folks...thus the name changes. As soon as the Sally rep came up to talk to me, the homeless I knew surrounded me and came to my defense (it was not needed but heartwarming that they have accepted me :)
No word from my son yet...he is now several weeks late in returning to the area. I tried calling him today and his telephone is turned off or out of minutes...:(
Week 4 at the Salvation Army Soup Line....
This week I took socks and good batteries. I guess the dollar store batteries are often old and only work a short time. Not good if you are depending on them in your only flashlight to get the right trail back to camp. Buying the large pack of good batteries was actually less than all the individual packs. Socks are always needed..they go fast!
I caught up with Country and Tina and gave them the dog food I had been carting around for weeks. They have a pit bull...seems like a nice dog and I am not a fan of the breed. I guess Country has seizures and this is his therapy dog. I don't know if that is a self given title so the dog can go in shelters with them or if the dog has actually been trained. The dog was better taken care of than themselves.
Eric is still in jail. Joe, the old guy, is now inside a small one room apartment and more comfortable...for that I am happy. Don and Jeannette were there this week also, still strong advocates for shelter that is badly needed in this county. Rick, a very polite quiet man is here each Wed and always shakes my hand and thanks me. I enjoy what little conversation I have with him.
This week was a special time for me as I was able to go inside the Salvation Army and eat with the people. It was the end of the month so the dining room was pretty full. There were two families there with small children....that was hard to see. I offered to pay for my meal but was told they can not take money. Here is how it went:
You go in to a receptionist who opens a small window and gives you a blue ticket and a white ticket after taking your social security number and drivers license. The blue ticket is for your first time though the line, the white ticket is for seconds. (Note: This Sally is only open for one meal a day) The dining room (as well as everything I have seen inside the building) is spotlessly clean. There are about twenty large round tables that seat eight people. Funny, but it reminded me of the tables you find on a cruise ship. People start coming in and there are tables off to the side with hot coffee and juice....cups are on each table with a napkin and silverware in each. I didn't have any coffee as it is a premium to those cold from the weather. The juice went fast also. I sat with Don and Jeanette and talked with them in detail about their experiences. Then suddenly a man yells "HATS OFF" and all the men take off ball caps, stocking hats etc and the man leads us in a prayer. (He is one of the guests, not a Sally worker) Afterwords, two lines file...Ladies first is the rule. Don escorts me to the lady line where I wait for my meal. The meal was a hearty meat stew that day with buttered bread and a dessert. It was very tasty. Everyone buses their own table. Many went back with their white ticket for seconds.
It was a great experience and I treasure the time I have with these people. I look forward to my Wed adventures.
Sally sent someone in to ask me my affiliation. It surprised them that I am not part of a church or organization. I assured them that I come with no agenda and no expectations...just to have some fellowship with the people and to deliver new socks each week. I was asked to 'give' the items outside (as I have been) and to keep confidential any information I might get from the folks...thus the name changes. As soon as the Sally rep came up to talk to me, the homeless I knew surrounded me and came to my defense (it was not needed but heartwarming that they have accepted me :)
No word from my son yet...he is now several weeks late in returning to the area. I tried calling him today and his telephone is turned off or out of minutes...:(
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Week Three:
I was able to learn some more names at the soup line this week.
Mark is waiting for a place to open in drug/alcohol treatment. It is a six month program and until an opening comes up he is on the street. He was soaking wet when I saw him Wed...just waiting for the Salvation Army to open for lunch. He said they are open long enough to dry out his coat on a heater vent while he sleeps under a table after a quick lunch. At 4pm they close the room and back on the street he goes. He talked about sleeping in the doorway of a nearby church until 5am each morning when he is awakened to move along by security. He has a sleeping bag, wet clear though, and no tent.
Eric, that I met last week, is now in jail. He was in a tent *camping* and overslept missing his probation check in. I dont know how long he will be in jail.
I have not seen Country and Tiny in two weeks. I am holding on to the dog food I brought for them until I see them again. They live in their van.
I did see Don and Jeanette again this week. They are pretty regular.
Remember Joe, the older man with liver disease? I haven't seen him in two weeks. No one knows where he is.
I passed out socks, a goodie bag with a flashlight, snacks, batteries etc.
I had an interesting talk with a person who works with Path....he indicated I could go into Salvation Army and visit with the folks as they eat lunch. That is my next weeks goal.
Every week when I drive up and park...I feel kinda sick and scard to get out of the car. Not scard of the people, but scard that I will offend. I have to muster up some courage for that car door to open and for me to grab my laundry basket of stuff and head for the line.
Everyone that was handed socks and bags was so nice....polite and thankful. I am picking up the nick name of "sock lady" which I like. :)
My son is still not in the area...but I did talk with him. He sounded sober and said he had been staying inside with a friend. Wonderful news all around this week!
I was able to learn some more names at the soup line this week.
Mark is waiting for a place to open in drug/alcohol treatment. It is a six month program and until an opening comes up he is on the street. He was soaking wet when I saw him Wed...just waiting for the Salvation Army to open for lunch. He said they are open long enough to dry out his coat on a heater vent while he sleeps under a table after a quick lunch. At 4pm they close the room and back on the street he goes. He talked about sleeping in the doorway of a nearby church until 5am each morning when he is awakened to move along by security. He has a sleeping bag, wet clear though, and no tent.
Eric, that I met last week, is now in jail. He was in a tent *camping* and overslept missing his probation check in. I dont know how long he will be in jail.
I have not seen Country and Tiny in two weeks. I am holding on to the dog food I brought for them until I see them again. They live in their van.
I did see Don and Jeanette again this week. They are pretty regular.
Remember Joe, the older man with liver disease? I haven't seen him in two weeks. No one knows where he is.
I passed out socks, a goodie bag with a flashlight, snacks, batteries etc.
I had an interesting talk with a person who works with Path....he indicated I could go into Salvation Army and visit with the folks as they eat lunch. That is my next weeks goal.
Every week when I drive up and park...I feel kinda sick and scard to get out of the car. Not scard of the people, but scard that I will offend. I have to muster up some courage for that car door to open and for me to grab my laundry basket of stuff and head for the line.
Everyone that was handed socks and bags was so nice....polite and thankful. I am picking up the nick name of "sock lady" which I like. :)
My son is still not in the area...but I did talk with him. He sounded sober and said he had been staying inside with a friend. Wonderful news all around this week!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Salvation Army closed nighttime shelter....
Yesterday was my day to deliver the zip lock bag of goodies to the soup line at Sally.
It was an overwhelming day to learn that they had to close the nighttime shelter due to a few inappropriate actions of a handful (or less)of people staying there. I was told the inappropriate actions were people peeing and pooping outside the shelter on the sidewalk. (there are plenty of bathrooms inside) In stead of finding those few the services they need (detox, mental health, jail...whatever) they had to close the entire shelter. 100 more people on the street since last wed.
As I drove up I noticed a completely different crowd than the week before. People I had brought dog food for were not there. The lady that needed Shampoo, not there. I will just carry those items around until I find them again. It was right after the first of the month so those who get welfare, ssi, ss, ssd may of had funds. I only saw about 15 poeple in line for lunch.
Or, maybe they could not get to the lunch. When they are not allowed to use the shelter they must find a place to *camp* at night. It is not always close to services. Some will resort to doing something illegial to go to jail for the winter. Some will walk the streets at night to stay warm and sleep during the safer daytime hours. Some will move to a different city using the $1.00 Cap bus.
I met several people and learned their names this week, which was my goal. Every week I hope to add names to faces. I want to be able to greet them by name out of respect and let them know they are remembered. They are men and women...not 'the homeless'.
I met a married couple named Don and Jeannett who have been homeless for seven years. Both appeared late 40's early 50's but then so does my son who is only 36. The street ages people. Don and Jeannett are both small built and skinney. Jeannett was spoting a black eye that I tryed to ignor. Don had a beard (comman for the men as it adds warmth)that was tobacco stained. When I hugged them both, neither were smelly. I add this as I know most *comfotable people* (those with homes) think all homeless people are scary and smelly. Try giving a random hug for yourself!
Don was an articulate man who talked of being a Christian, his work with the Homeless Colilition, and the need for landlords to rent to the homeless. There is a prejuduce that is allowed by law not to rent to anyone with a felony...and most of these people have a past. Many have co issues of drug/alcohol, felonies, and mental illness. He has funding though an agency to put first, last, and deposit on a rental and no one will rent to him.
I didnt see Joe this week. He is the man with stage 4 liver disease. Please keep him in your prayers. He knows he is dying. I have not had a chance to witness to him, having only talked to him once. I wanted to build a relationship with him so he would trust me first. Please pray that someone witness to him before his death. he may already be a Christian, I dont know. This is my biggest worry this week.
I met Dennis, he is working on building a daytime center that coordinates services for all the agencies in town. I talked with him about a model serivce in Olympia Washington called The Club House...google it for more information. They helped my son get his SSD started and provided him with all the transportation to appoitments. They did what he would not allow me to do. I am thankful! The Club House has a small kitchen with food and drop in people can make snacks, they have a computer with internet to email home, they give out bus passes, clothes, and even have sofa's there where you can rest and watch a video. It is run by people who volunteer mostly with issues of their own. A remarkable place.
I met Beth, who works for Sally, (volunteer or paid I do not know)at the front desk. She told me the need is greater at the middle to end of the month. She suggested several things that I had not thought of. Any product that can not be purchased with food stamps like diapers, tp, grooming supplies etc etc.
My added goal for this week is to find out what agencies do what in the area. I want to go to the Colilition for the Homeless meetings...I sure hope they are open meetings....
It was an overwhelming day to learn that they had to close the nighttime shelter due to a few inappropriate actions of a handful (or less)of people staying there. I was told the inappropriate actions were people peeing and pooping outside the shelter on the sidewalk. (there are plenty of bathrooms inside) In stead of finding those few the services they need (detox, mental health, jail...whatever) they had to close the entire shelter. 100 more people on the street since last wed.
As I drove up I noticed a completely different crowd than the week before. People I had brought dog food for were not there. The lady that needed Shampoo, not there. I will just carry those items around until I find them again. It was right after the first of the month so those who get welfare, ssi, ss, ssd may of had funds. I only saw about 15 poeple in line for lunch.
Or, maybe they could not get to the lunch. When they are not allowed to use the shelter they must find a place to *camp* at night. It is not always close to services. Some will resort to doing something illegial to go to jail for the winter. Some will walk the streets at night to stay warm and sleep during the safer daytime hours. Some will move to a different city using the $1.00 Cap bus.
I met several people and learned their names this week, which was my goal. Every week I hope to add names to faces. I want to be able to greet them by name out of respect and let them know they are remembered. They are men and women...not 'the homeless'.
I met a married couple named Don and Jeannett who have been homeless for seven years. Both appeared late 40's early 50's but then so does my son who is only 36. The street ages people. Don and Jeannett are both small built and skinney. Jeannett was spoting a black eye that I tryed to ignor. Don had a beard (comman for the men as it adds warmth)that was tobacco stained. When I hugged them both, neither were smelly. I add this as I know most *comfotable people* (those with homes) think all homeless people are scary and smelly. Try giving a random hug for yourself!
Don was an articulate man who talked of being a Christian, his work with the Homeless Colilition, and the need for landlords to rent to the homeless. There is a prejuduce that is allowed by law not to rent to anyone with a felony...and most of these people have a past. Many have co issues of drug/alcohol, felonies, and mental illness. He has funding though an agency to put first, last, and deposit on a rental and no one will rent to him.
I didnt see Joe this week. He is the man with stage 4 liver disease. Please keep him in your prayers. He knows he is dying. I have not had a chance to witness to him, having only talked to him once. I wanted to build a relationship with him so he would trust me first. Please pray that someone witness to him before his death. he may already be a Christian, I dont know. This is my biggest worry this week.
I met Dennis, he is working on building a daytime center that coordinates services for all the agencies in town. I talked with him about a model serivce in Olympia Washington called The Club House...google it for more information. They helped my son get his SSD started and provided him with all the transportation to appoitments. They did what he would not allow me to do. I am thankful! The Club House has a small kitchen with food and drop in people can make snacks, they have a computer with internet to email home, they give out bus passes, clothes, and even have sofa's there where you can rest and watch a video. It is run by people who volunteer mostly with issues of their own. A remarkable place.
I met Beth, who works for Sally, (volunteer or paid I do not know)at the front desk. She told me the need is greater at the middle to end of the month. She suggested several things that I had not thought of. Any product that can not be purchased with food stamps like diapers, tp, grooming supplies etc etc.
My added goal for this week is to find out what agencies do what in the area. I want to go to the Colilition for the Homeless meetings...I sure hope they are open meetings....
Monday, February 1, 2010
The money came in (my ebay listing :) for this weeks zip lock bags!
I had so much fun shopping for this weeks stuff. I am sure I am looking at the zip lock bag goodies as the middle class senior woman that I am, vs what the real need is....but I am winging it this week as my son, Tom, is *out of town*.
I got
*the vienna sausages that were such a hit last week
*the socks that were also a big hit
*individually packages of snake crackers that were requested (3 each)
*matches (in boxes)
*and some peperments for a sweet tooth
I will see how this baggie goes over on Wed. I want to give them grooming supplies but do not want to offend them. They can also get those from Churches and Organizations like Sally. I actually found them all well groomed and dressed well last week...not the *smelly bum * that we all think of and see in the movies.
Like my son told me, what good is a tooth brush if you have no teeth....what can you do with a bar of soap if you have no shower...
This week, I hope to learn more names so I can address the folks by name each week. I dont want to push the privacy they need but want to respect that they are not numbers but people with families.
I learned on name last week, it was volunteered. Joe is an older man, I would guess close to 60. He is stage 4 liver disease, and dieing. He stood back from the crowd when I was passing out socks and bags so I went over to him and gave him some. He told me he said *I'm just wasting your oxygen, waiting to die". I offered him a hug and he teared up. We got to talking a little and I expect to see him this week also. If not, I will ask about him. You can tell he is a little out of it by his conversation, I am sure his is very sick. We talked about how hard it is for him to stay warm because of poor circulation. I gave him a second pair of socks and asked him to warm them both at the same time. He had gloves, a nice coat, and a hat.
I had so much fun shopping for this weeks stuff. I am sure I am looking at the zip lock bag goodies as the middle class senior woman that I am, vs what the real need is....but I am winging it this week as my son, Tom, is *out of town*.
I got
*the vienna sausages that were such a hit last week
*the socks that were also a big hit
*individually packages of snake crackers that were requested (3 each)
*matches (in boxes)
*and some peperments for a sweet tooth
I will see how this baggie goes over on Wed. I want to give them grooming supplies but do not want to offend them. They can also get those from Churches and Organizations like Sally. I actually found them all well groomed and dressed well last week...not the *smelly bum * that we all think of and see in the movies.
Like my son told me, what good is a tooth brush if you have no teeth....what can you do with a bar of soap if you have no shower...
This week, I hope to learn more names so I can address the folks by name each week. I dont want to push the privacy they need but want to respect that they are not numbers but people with families.
I learned on name last week, it was volunteered. Joe is an older man, I would guess close to 60. He is stage 4 liver disease, and dieing. He stood back from the crowd when I was passing out socks and bags so I went over to him and gave him some. He told me he said *I'm just wasting your oxygen, waiting to die". I offered him a hug and he teared up. We got to talking a little and I expect to see him this week also. If not, I will ask about him. You can tell he is a little out of it by his conversation, I am sure his is very sick. We talked about how hard it is for him to stay warm because of poor circulation. I gave him a second pair of socks and asked him to warm them both at the same time. He had gloves, a nice coat, and a hat.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
A Good Day
(I am a mother following the life of my son who is homeless)
Today is a good day. I just talked to Tom on the telephone. It is 10am and he is sober. He sounded good but close to being out of minutes. I learned that he will not be here for the Wed drop of goodies to the Sally Soup Line (slang for Salvation Army). So I will be going alone for the first time. I am so looking forward to it.
Now to fill in some blanks:
My son has a mental disability that allows him to SSD based on what he earned while working. He gets about $1200.00 a month from a payee, his daughter (more later on her) gets an additional $600.00 a month. That is how he can afford a cheap cell phone...both track phones and net 10 phones are popular with the homeless population. He receives no food stamps or medical.
My son is rich compared to most homeless. Most homeless have between 0 and about $300.00 a month in this area. They are totally dependent on services like Sally for a daily meal. This is the last day of the month and many are really hurting for every possible need as they do not get funding untill the 3rd.
This week I plan to take 20 Zip Lock bags again...just a drop in the bucket of what is needed. One person asked for dog food for her companion. She and her *man* live in thier van with a Pit Bull. Now, for the record, I am not fond of Pit Bulls. This dog provides protection, unconditional love, and companionship. I do not mind sharing some of my dog's dry kibble with them. (note to self: contact the humane society to see if they can help the homeless with animals)
Contents of the zip lock bags are going to be sparse this week. I am depending on God to provide what I need to include. For about $20.00 I can get 20 pairs of socks at Wal-mart. Socks are a big hit. The rest of this week will be snacks that I can buy in bulk and divide into the zip lock bags. I do need to include a bottle of shampoo for one lady who requested it.
The need is great and I will not be able to help everyone every time. My going is more to show them that someone cares. I hope to build trust and share Jesus with them when they appear ready. It will be a slow process of building on a friendship. The main thing I need to do, is to show up every week as I promised...even if I come empty handed.
The funds for this adventure are being earned by selling one lot of baby clothing each week on ebay. I never know how much I have to spend untill the weekly auction is over on Sunday. That gives me two days to find the bargains and make the bags.
Since my husband is disabled we are also on a fixed income (and seniors)so the funds are tenuous as best.
I WILL NOT ask others for funds. This decision is for two reasons...1.) I want to encourage each person who *feels the need to give* to do it on their own. This could be in the area of the homeless population or any other area. Maybe you would feel more comfortable reading to children, or visiting homebound seniors. 2.) The individual face to face contact is the most important, showing you care.
So, having said that: GO OUT AND FIND YOUR ADVENTURE! You will receive more in return than you give. Blessings to all...
Today is a good day. I just talked to Tom on the telephone. It is 10am and he is sober. He sounded good but close to being out of minutes. I learned that he will not be here for the Wed drop of goodies to the Sally Soup Line (slang for Salvation Army). So I will be going alone for the first time. I am so looking forward to it.
Now to fill in some blanks:
My son has a mental disability that allows him to SSD based on what he earned while working. He gets about $1200.00 a month from a payee, his daughter (more later on her) gets an additional $600.00 a month. That is how he can afford a cheap cell phone...both track phones and net 10 phones are popular with the homeless population. He receives no food stamps or medical.
My son is rich compared to most homeless. Most homeless have between 0 and about $300.00 a month in this area. They are totally dependent on services like Sally for a daily meal. This is the last day of the month and many are really hurting for every possible need as they do not get funding untill the 3rd.
This week I plan to take 20 Zip Lock bags again...just a drop in the bucket of what is needed. One person asked for dog food for her companion. She and her *man* live in thier van with a Pit Bull. Now, for the record, I am not fond of Pit Bulls. This dog provides protection, unconditional love, and companionship. I do not mind sharing some of my dog's dry kibble with them. (note to self: contact the humane society to see if they can help the homeless with animals)
Contents of the zip lock bags are going to be sparse this week. I am depending on God to provide what I need to include. For about $20.00 I can get 20 pairs of socks at Wal-mart. Socks are a big hit. The rest of this week will be snacks that I can buy in bulk and divide into the zip lock bags. I do need to include a bottle of shampoo for one lady who requested it.
The need is great and I will not be able to help everyone every time. My going is more to show them that someone cares. I hope to build trust and share Jesus with them when they appear ready. It will be a slow process of building on a friendship. The main thing I need to do, is to show up every week as I promised...even if I come empty handed.
The funds for this adventure are being earned by selling one lot of baby clothing each week on ebay. I never know how much I have to spend untill the weekly auction is over on Sunday. That gives me two days to find the bargains and make the bags.
Since my husband is disabled we are also on a fixed income (and seniors)so the funds are tenuous as best.
I WILL NOT ask others for funds. This decision is for two reasons...1.) I want to encourage each person who *feels the need to give* to do it on their own. This could be in the area of the homeless population or any other area. Maybe you would feel more comfortable reading to children, or visiting homebound seniors. 2.) The individual face to face contact is the most important, showing you care.
So, having said that: GO OUT AND FIND YOUR ADVENTURE! You will receive more in return than you give. Blessings to all...
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Salvation Army
While Tom was here last week I learned that our area only has a few places for helping the homeless. One is the Salvation Army.
Since my mission is to understand I went there. I found a nice clean building with friendly staff. This center had beds, meals, clothing, worship, and more.
Why doesnt my son get help there? He has warrents out in two states for his arrest. At shelters the folks must disclose id to even get a meal. The police are called in to take away any offenders that have warrents. That is why my son is part of the *invisable homeless* by choice.
I have looked up his warrents on the internet and found them to be related to homelessness...trespassing to find a warm place to pitch the tent, public drunkeness, loitering etc. He can not get a meal or a place to sleep because of these warrents.
Do I think he should fess up, go to jail, take care of business and come out a better person? YES! But remember, I think differently than he does. His drug and alcohol background, in house treatments, jail time, and his mental illness all add up to being scard into hiding.
Before you judge me for not turning him in...I did when he was 15-thus the 3 years in juvy....it didnt help. I did when he was 22, it didnt help. The system is broken, folks....
On to the Positive....Tom has a huge heart and wanted to help the people in the area. We went to the dollar store and walmart and bought socks, small radios, batteries, vienna sausage, and Vit C...put them in zip lock bags and took them to the Salvation Army parking lot as the people were lining up for lunch.
I was scard. Although I love my son in any condition, I didnt know what the other people would be like. Would they smell or be scary? I found them to just be people. Men, women, couples, all very thankful for any thing. I shook their hands, hugged a few, and talked with them about what they needed.
I asked Tom to stay in the area and we would do this every week...as you already know, he left shortly afterwards.
I am going alone next week to deliver the zip lock bags....
Since my mission is to understand I went there. I found a nice clean building with friendly staff. This center had beds, meals, clothing, worship, and more.
Why doesnt my son get help there? He has warrents out in two states for his arrest. At shelters the folks must disclose id to even get a meal. The police are called in to take away any offenders that have warrents. That is why my son is part of the *invisable homeless* by choice.
I have looked up his warrents on the internet and found them to be related to homelessness...trespassing to find a warm place to pitch the tent, public drunkeness, loitering etc. He can not get a meal or a place to sleep because of these warrents.
Do I think he should fess up, go to jail, take care of business and come out a better person? YES! But remember, I think differently than he does. His drug and alcohol background, in house treatments, jail time, and his mental illness all add up to being scard into hiding.
Before you judge me for not turning him in...I did when he was 15-thus the 3 years in juvy....it didnt help. I did when he was 22, it didnt help. The system is broken, folks....
On to the Positive....Tom has a huge heart and wanted to help the people in the area. We went to the dollar store and walmart and bought socks, small radios, batteries, vienna sausage, and Vit C...put them in zip lock bags and took them to the Salvation Army parking lot as the people were lining up for lunch.
I was scard. Although I love my son in any condition, I didnt know what the other people would be like. Would they smell or be scary? I found them to just be people. Men, women, couples, all very thankful for any thing. I shook their hands, hugged a few, and talked with them about what they needed.
I asked Tom to stay in the area and we would do this every week...as you already know, he left shortly afterwards.
I am going alone next week to deliver the zip lock bags....
My son was "in town" last week...
My son was "in town" last week and it was one of the best visits we ever had!
He set up his *camp* in a wooded area by a river. (He refused to stay in my home) I saw him daily and it was refreshing to talk with him sober. Yep, he considers himself a "drunk bum". (His words)
We talked alot about being homeless. It was the first time he shared with me some of the details of what it is like. I think he appreciated that I am no longer trying to change him, but support and love him where he is today.
He had a huge two room tent, with a smaller tent set up inside it. The air between the two tents acts like insulation. He also had a large (camo) tarp over the whole thing and brush on top of that. From the road it was only about 100 feet and you could not see it until you were right on top of it. He admitted to losing his *camp twice* in the week he was here...it was so well hidden from view.
He would walk into town once a day and buy just one day's worth of food. Any more than that would attract raccoons or rats from the river. He would walk out the garbage each day. He would not start a fire because there was a burn ban on...so he ate cold food. This contradiction of following some rules and not others stumps me.
He let me buy him a change of clothing and even came to my home to watch a movie while we washed is one suit of clothes. It was a very nice time, sharing a meal and conversation. He only carries one change of clothes because the backpack is only so big. Many times he gives away one outfit to others who are worse off. (another contradiction....I have to remember that he thinks differently than I do)
I could tell he drank when he was not around me, I kept my mouth shut and just hugged him and told him I loved him. The reek of last nights stale beer hard to handle for this non-drinker.
As suddenly as he showed up, he left.
He set up his *camp* in a wooded area by a river. (He refused to stay in my home) I saw him daily and it was refreshing to talk with him sober. Yep, he considers himself a "drunk bum". (His words)
We talked alot about being homeless. It was the first time he shared with me some of the details of what it is like. I think he appreciated that I am no longer trying to change him, but support and love him where he is today.
He had a huge two room tent, with a smaller tent set up inside it. The air between the two tents acts like insulation. He also had a large (camo) tarp over the whole thing and brush on top of that. From the road it was only about 100 feet and you could not see it until you were right on top of it. He admitted to losing his *camp twice* in the week he was here...it was so well hidden from view.
He would walk into town once a day and buy just one day's worth of food. Any more than that would attract raccoons or rats from the river. He would walk out the garbage each day. He would not start a fire because there was a burn ban on...so he ate cold food. This contradiction of following some rules and not others stumps me.
He let me buy him a change of clothing and even came to my home to watch a movie while we washed is one suit of clothes. It was a very nice time, sharing a meal and conversation. He only carries one change of clothes because the backpack is only so big. Many times he gives away one outfit to others who are worse off. (another contradiction....I have to remember that he thinks differently than I do)
I could tell he drank when he was not around me, I kept my mouth shut and just hugged him and told him I loved him. The reek of last nights stale beer hard to handle for this non-drinker.
As suddenly as he showed up, he left.
My son is homeless by choice....
My son is homeless by choice....
A mother's heart always sees their children as they were as babies. Sweet, pure, adorable, dependent, loving, with eyes that search the world. A mother never expects that same child to become a homeless adult by choice.
This blog is intended as my therapy to understand *why* this happened. It is also intened to be an education to mother's who think this situation could not happen to them, and to support other mothers who find this harsh reality in their daily life.
To say I feel guilt for my 36 year old son is an understatement. *If onlys* rage though my thoughts many times a day. Prayers are lifted more often for his safety. I lay awake with plans of change for him that ultimately fail because they are not "his plans" but mine.
For the sake of a generic name I will call my son Tom for this blog.
This is not a new journey for Tom or I. He started running away at age 11...once to a city park, pitched a tent and lunched on canned peaches taken from home before he left. With the help of the city police (small town) we watched from afar hoping he would have a horrible first night....he loved it.
At age 15 he ran away several times, once living in a tree house in a Church Parking Lot... It was the middle of winter and he loved it. Shortly after getting him back home he then ran to a island in the middle of a nearby river. At least it was spring by then.
Counseling (multiple attempts), in house treatment for mental health (hospital, mutiple times), Juvenile Hall(3 years) Jail (multiple times), Drug and Alcohol treatment (multiple times). Nothing gets him off the street and stable for long.
Yet Family and Friends continue love and support him from afar. Sometimes it is years in between contact. Sometimes it is middle of the night phone calls for help. *Sometimes* is too far between.
My Mother's Mission is (no longer) to change but to understand.
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